Why It's Better to Have a Pet Die than a Person

• Nobody say's stupid things about Spot looking peaceful
• No worries over estate taxes
• Pie is not required
• If you eat your dead dog, people will think you are weird - but it's technically not a crime
• You can bury it in your backyard in a cardboard box
• No pallbearers
• Nobody ever say's stupid crap like "They had a long and fruitful life and are survived by a litter of seven kittens"
• If it's a dog - dogs suck!
• It's cheaper than spaying or neutering
• You can make Bonsai Kittens
• You can make fun of your sister-in-law who is a PETA-Nazi